


Exile

by celiskata



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Dream has a realization, Dream is in exile, Exile, Hurt GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, POV GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), dream writes letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celiskata/pseuds/celiskata
Summary: Dream is in his own personal exile.Tommy asked him, "Who do you miss the most?" but it was obvious to the both of them who he missed. When Tommy asked Dream to write novels for him, he had another idea. From there, he decides to write letters to a special someone, in hopes he'd read it.[smp spoilers]
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. Letter One

**Author's Note:**

> Warning - contains spoilers for current SMP events, take caution when reading this work because I plan to go along the story as close as I possibly can! :)
> 
> This is my take on Dream's time in prison, and what he does with his books. 
> 
> Mind you, some chapters will be short (I'll update letters as frequently as I can), and some chapters will include point of views other than letters.

Hello.  
I’m in the prison, now. 

I wonder if you’re awake. You’ve been awfully sleepy lately. I rarely ever see you now. I wonder what you do when you wake up nowadays? Do you still go fishing? Yeah. Don’t act so shocked. I know you secretly love to go fishing. I actually caught you one night, fishing by your vacation spot home. It’s cute.

Time moves so slowly. I do nothing but stare at my clock and watch the lava sink poignantly. At first I was so angry. The look Sapnap and Bad gave me genuinely hurt me. I understand the feeling of your stomach dropping, but I genuinely think my stomach dropped as low as it possibly could. It fucking hurt. What didn’t change, though, was Sam’s expression. He didn’t look any different. Just stared at me.

Can you believe it’s only been a day? I feel like I’ve been here for ages. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. I’ll get out here some day soon. Mind you, Techno still owes me a favor. I’ll be back with you someday, George. Even if Sapnap doesn’t fucking like me anymore. You still have me.

I wonder if I still have you, though.

My lives here aren’t canon until the moment there’s a canonical lore episode. I can starve myself and die, then come back alright. Some days I’ll go burn and swim in the lava and I’ll still be here. Sometimes when I respawn I wish I were really just with you and Sapnap. I fucked up this time, big time. I know everyone hates me. Do you? George, you’re my best friend. You’ve literally changed me for the better and I really hope that you don’t think any different of me. Just notice that I don’t do anything to you. You’re my best friend and you keep me sane. 

I wonder if you’ll still care about me. I wonder if you’ll look at this letter and scoff. Burn it. Throw it out. Feed it to the cows and pigs. Or will you even read this? (And if you actually do… by the way… Please write back. I’m going to go mad so quick if I don’t have any human interaction.)

I feel like even though we are still good, best friends, I lost you so long ago. You’re never available in canon events. It’s mainly just me against Tommy and L’manberg. 

I miss being able to cook for you and Sapnap. I remember one day I cooked you and Sapnap a steak. I pranked him and made him a well done steak and he literally threw it at you - do you remember that? I honestly think I went lightheaded for a moment, nearly passed out, haha. Or when Bad tried to teach us how to make a pie. You were the only one who was genuinely trying. Then Sapnap fucked up his dough somehow. It turned out tough and rock solid. I don’t remember even making dough. I think I might’ve ate the filling instead, ha. Now Sam feeds me raw potatoes constantly. That’s it. Everytime I get hungry I feel so disgusting and poor. I just eat raw potato. Isn’t it funny how I was just at the top and now I’m inevitable at rock bottom now?

I’m sorry I let power get to my head.  
Sometimes I think to myself that it was worth it. Make an image of myself. Let the entire SMP know who I am. In turn I just became a power hungry freak. I know I’ve repeated some words. But I already lost Sapnap. I hope I didn’t lose you. Or, I hope I don’t end up losing you, regardless. I fucked up big time, huh?

I love you, George. You’ve always been there for me.  
I’m always there for you, too. I protect you. I’d do anything I could to make you happy. If that means losing you, then fuck it.

I would.

Write me back.

I’ll be here for a long, long time.


	2. Letter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wanted me to come with you that night because you didn’t wanna be alone. Obviously I went because I’d never leave you.
> 
> Did you leave me?

Hey.

You know, Tommy visited. Truthfully, he was just a burden to me. But it felt better than being alone.

He’s forcing me to write these childish diary entries. Help. ‘A Guide on How to Get Girls’ … ‘Why BadBoyHalo Sucks’ ….

Yeah, I don’t know about the rest. He says I’ve got to finish these by the 24th, but I haven’t even written a page. I’ve actually just been writing these short letters to you. I tried to write a letter to Sapnap as well, but I just couldn’t bring the words from my head to paper. Everytime I think about him, I just feel guilty. The face he made when he locked me up still makes me feel like shit. It hurts especially from someone I grew up with.

I wish you could come see me. Whether or not you read these letters, I’m always going to be writing to you if you like it or not. It’s just a given. If you hate me, just tell me. Write back. Or tell Sam to let me know you don’t want these letters. You know I don’t like being left in the dark on some things. Especially when it’s about you, you know. We both already know that.

Maybe I’m assuming too quickly. It’s just been about two days now. Are you still asleep? Are you even home? Maybe you left. Or I’m stupidly just delivering these to an address that doesn’t belong to anyone anymore.

I miss you more.

Weirdly enough, Tommy gave me a fun game to keep me somewhat preoccupied. I can spin my one clock in circles. The colors that emit when I spin it is fun. I don’t think you’d be able to tell the color it makes. Sometimes the blues and the yellows during the day make a soft green. Or a turquoise color. Come visit me sometime and I’ll show you. Fun.

Tommy killed me out of spite. Normally, I’d feel even the slightest ounce of pain. A pinch, at most. But when he killed me now, I just felt completely nothing. Just respawned back here. That’s it. Now whenever I jump in the lava I don’t feel anything either. Just numbness.

I’m numb.

He kept pressing me with questions. He asked me who I missed the most and my brain just completely shut off. I forced him to leave.

I don’t wanna say that I miss YOU the most, but we both know there’s falsehoods if I don’t say it isn’t.

I miss who we used to be so fucking much.

No one wants to visit me now. I see people log on and talk to one another in the chat. But I’m alone. No one says hi to me. It’s so lonely.

Do you remember the night we both snuck out and just had a midnight picnic? You and I. We just looked at the stars and came home muddy cause it just rained. You wanted me to come with you that night because you didn’t wanna be alone. Obviously I went because I’d never leave you.

Did you leave me?

I’ll get out of here soon. I think. Or, I hope. No matter what Techno owes me a favor. I hope he’ll get to me soon. This fucking sucks.

It sucks.


	3. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll be fine, yeah?” George says. “I’ll be back home late.”

Sapnap is awake.

He peels himself off his bunk bed and looks around, beams of sunlight reigning through the windows. 

He was in George’s vacation spot.

Actually, it’s been only about a week since the two decided to move back in here after Dream got arrested. Sapnap had to pull George out of bed to tell him everything that went on. The only words that left George’s mouth was ‘I know’. His words, although left ambiguous, left Sapnap chilled. George hadn’t really been responsive ever since Dream’s arrest. To lose such a close friend hurts, but Sapnap really couldn’t imagine how the brit felt.

The two slowly made their way over to George’s vacation home which, although was fixed, was still covered in ashes. The boys spent hours cleaning up their home, and indefinitely made their stay with one another. Standing up from his bed, Sapnap stretched and let out a soft groan. The house was just a few feet in size - cramped but homey. Looking up to George, who fought for the top bunk, was still fast asleep to the Texan’s knowledge. Chickens clucked from outside their home, and stray cats tumbled and skipped over the mushroom roof.

As Sapnap put raw mutton into the furnace, he leaned against the wall. He stared at George’s lifeless, yet alive, frame let out soft snores with an unhappy face in his slumber. The Texan let out a soft sigh.

How did things get so wrong?

At the utmost timing, a knock at the door pulled Sapnap from his thoughts. He pulled himself off the wall and slowly opened the door.

There stood Sam with another letter.

“For George,” The man said, slowly pushing the letter towards Sapnap. “Dream’s been asking if George has written back.”

The Texan stares at the envelope, written on parchment. George’s name was written in cursive lettering, an ink blot everlasting on the last ‘e’. A little part of Sapnap felt hurt that his old friend hadn’t bothered to write him a letter, but it was whatever. Guess Dream only cared about George overall. Looking back at Sam, he reaches over by the kitchen countertop and reveals the first letter - untouched and unopened.

The tall man nods his head solemnly and they both exchange goodbyes in silence. Sapnap watches as the man walks down the pathway, netherite armor glistening in the morning dew. Looking back at George, who was still madly asleep, Sapnap, too, left the small and cramped home to take a breath.

It was still so early in the morning. Rain droplets dripped from the wooden planks George used to decorate his rooftop, and the evident smell of the rain lingered in the air. Funny enough, it rained the night and morning preceding Dream’s arrest. His life afterwards felt like a nonstop loop of waking up in the morning, waiting for George to wake up as he cooked breakfast, and smoking a cigarette or a blunt right after. And this, joyfully, was one of those mornings.

Sapnap pulled the bag of Backwoods from his sweatshirt pocket and lit a cigar against his lips. Taking a long drag and a long exhale felt like reliving. It felt like doing something - taking away the numbness in which he called his life, currently. He continued taking short drags from the honeyberry stick before eventually flicking it off into the grass. The male took one look behind him, peering into the makeshift trap door windows in George’s home before walking, then sprinting off the path to the nether and towards Karl’s home.

It felt like ages after when Sapnap returned home, and George was sitting up in bed this time.

The colorblind boy took the two letters written to him and had been staring at the parchment, unopened.

“Are you gonna open them?”

To which Sapnap did not receive a response, but a curt sigh instead. Sapnap evidently took that answer as a no, and shrugged it off. By then it was nearing five p.m when the Texan decided it was time to head home and check up on his British friend. It wasn’t like anything was going to happen regardless - George could sleep for days on end without fail or go without no sleep and be fine.

The male stumbled into the kitchen, noticing the dish George must’ve used this morning to eat breakfast.

“Did you eat lunch?”

George hummed lightly in response, scratching his head.

Sapnap was mildly ticked that the brit wasn’t responding to him in anything but mumbled words, but he’d learn to move past it. To be fair, someone he loved just went straight to prison. Truth be told Sapnap was more annoyed at George than Dream. To believe that George was so oblivious to Dream’s attempts at manipulating everyone in the server was incredulous - just due to the fact that he would just be sleeping or doing something on his own, typically traversing far into the SMP and returning at late nights. 

The Texan pulls out a chair from the dining table they made and put in the dead center of their small home and faced George with it.

Sapnap never realized how thin and frail George was up until this moment. The boy looked so drained and fruitless - completely void of what emotion he had always had before Dream went away. 

The elder stared right at Sapnap, hazelnut brown eyes piercing through the Texan’s brain. 

“Can you at least talk to me?” Sapnap pleaded.

George looked away for a split second, staring out the trap door window and sighing lightly. For a mere moment, the male looked so ready to burst into tears. However, as he didn’t, George stood himself up from his bed and reached underneath his bed to pull out, ironically enough, one of Dream’s old sweatshirts. “How was your day with Karl?”

Sapnap, initially shocked by the new sudden movement George brought to the table, arched his back and sat up straight. “It.. It was good.”

“Yeah?” George pulled his pants off and switched into a pair of old jeans.

Mindlessly, Sapnap was going on a tangent about his day with Karl and Big Q - talking about how the three smoked a bowl together and harassed Tommy all whilst running from Bad who was still ever so graciously wandering around, looking for new people to bring to the egg.

Eventually, George poised himself up to the point where he stood at the door, watching Sapnap go on and on about his events and it was only until then where he noticed George was ready to go on his way out.

“Where are you going?”

“Just out. Need some fresh air.”

Sapnap curved his eyebrows. “Where exactly is ‘air’? You don’t just get into a hoodie and jeans if you’re going out for air.”

George rolls his eyes. “Will you relax? I’m not going to see Dream.”

Sapnap frowns.

“At least without you. I wouldn’t do that.”

The Brit reaches over and goes to grab a netherite sword from his ender chest as well as a few old patties of steak. “I’m going to go hunt down some mobs. Figures I should go work on some PVP and work out- I guess.”

The brown haired male pulled the bandana off his forehead and stared at George.

“I’ll be fine, yeah?” George says. “I’ll be back home late.”


	4. Letters Three & Three and a Half.

Will you ever respond? I’ve only written two letters.

Bad visited me a while back. He kept talking about the egg - what’s the outside world look like now?

This letter’s gonna be short. I don’t really feel like writing much so I’m going to get straight to the point.

I can’t tell if I’m going mad or not. I’ve destroyed a couple books instead of writing them for Tommy. I mean - it’s fucking Tommy. TommyInnit? As if I’d actually bow down to him a second time. I’m not gonna write him his stupid stories.

I’m trying to be strong for you and Sapnap. But it’s real difficult when you get a grip and realize you’re in an obsidian cube surrounded by layers of lava. But I have a plan. I’m not gonna tell you what it is until I’m able to succumb to this for a bit. But I’ll try to escape. Techno won’t help me - so what’s the use in depending on a pig who won’t even help me when he’s owed me a favor?

There’s one thing I have unanswered though.  
Is there a power beyond my capabilities?

Okay. The plan didn’t exactly work out, I’ll admit.  
I’ll give you a visual of my room. Imagine this: A fucking cube of obsidian that’s hollowed out. I’m in the center, yeah?

There’s nothing here but a clock on the wall (My favorite), a sink, a lectern, a lantern, and a chest full of books all in order.

I thought I could potentially break the lantern and the lectern to form a portal out of here. It took fucking years to even break the lectern because of the miner’s fatigue so you could just imagine how long it took me to break the lantern. I figured that I was already in an obsidian box, I could use the lectern as a source of fire to light the portal with the lantern. The lava was too dangerous. I tried lighting a chip of the lectern on fire and I burned the tip of my index finger. It fucking hurts. I forgot how much lava genuinely hurts. 

Funny how I said I felt numb. But the joy in building a portal to escape and see you lifted my spirits. Fortunately for me, though, that was shot down quickly just as Sam was going to come give me my daily amount of raw potatoes.

It was then in that one single moment I wished he would have fucked off and built the automated potato dropper but he hadn’t yet. He said something was going on outside of the walls and was disrupting him - but what the hell does that even mean? 

He dropped the potatoes in the lava and nearly fucking beat me to death. (I can imagine you laughing right now. Shut up.)

Sam replaced a majority of the walls with crying obsidian that way I wouldn’t be able to pull this stunt again. So for now I’m stuck again. I’m not exactly as sad as I previously was. Now I’m just more pissed. Sad, of course, but not as much.

You know he threatened my clock too. That sucks.

I’m just stuck here, with the everlasting hope that Sam will in fact send you this letter. It’s the only thing keeping me sane and I genuinely hope you’re actually reading these. If not, then. I don’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these letters will be mildly short in related to current smp events - including sapnap's late night stream will come up soon. hope you guys actually like these short letters as much as I like writing them!! :) next chapter will be a long POV one. get hype?


	5. Skewers

He’s tired.

George spent nearly two hours that night fighting off zombies and creepers, bulking up his rucksack with gunpowder and bottles of XP. Eventually, he grew tired and ended up walking along the Prime Path, combat boots sliding against the sullen wood planks. He aimlessly strided around the blood vines, which hissed in his direction.

He hadn’t walked around town in ages.

He made his way past Targay, and up towards Tommy’s hut. He stood outside the sidewalk of the Innit’s home, and peered inside to see Tubbo and Tommy screaming at one another -- or whatever Tommy’s laugh was. His tired eyes slothed his vision. He was going in the opposite of home, blindlessly making his way towards Bad and Skeppy’s home, which was utterly infested with the blood vines. George wasn’t sure if it was his constant need for sleep or if it were the blood vines distracting him from his thoughts.

He heard Dream, in a constant loop throughout his head, yelling at him -- telling George to let him free. Let him out.

Let him out.

Let him out?

George shuffled towards the prison entrance. He looked at its gloomy layout and decor, the blackstone making the room dark to see in despite the glowstone lighting up the place by a small bit. His heart raced. Staring at the nether portal in front of him, he made his way through it, only to end back out the same room he was standing in, just seconds ago. The brit scratched his head and adjusted his goggles atop his head and frowned.

Reaching through his rucksack, George pulled out his diamond pickaxe and made his way towards the side of the prison before inevitably being touched with miner’s fatigue.

Let me out.

George, feeling incredibly tired and slowed - not only by the miner’s fatigue charm but his personal freight and need for sleep, chucked away at the blackstone in front of his eyes.

C’mere, George.

Feeling a sense of lightheadedness, the male continued gnawing away at the blackstone without a sense or care in the world. Just utter bliss. Maybe the miner’s fatigue was getting to his head, but this was something worse than an effect. Something had to have been talking to him, because there was just no way in hell that Dream was communicating to him via his own damn head.

But who knew.

Oh, Georgie.

It felt like years within, but eventually he felt the blackstone crack underneath his pickaxe. He hacked away at the broken block and pulled out the remains of the blackstone, tossing it behind him and getting soot on his fingers. 

You’re so close to me, George.

Pulling the rest of the blackstone from the face of the wall, George was met with utter disappointment. He looked, and there sat a block of obsidian staring him down. Muttering a sharp curse, he picked up a chunk of the blackstone brick and tossed it into the depths of the lake. Tears brimmed the outer corners of his eyes and he leaned his forehead against the wall, the initial feeling of hysteria leaving his soul.

For a moment, it felt like heartbreak.

“George?”

Where George’s brown eyes popped right open, he turned around and faced a man who was once familiar, yet felt like a foe in the moment where he stood. The man’s gasmask glistened in the dark moonlight, his dark green hair settled right across his head with the crown tilted off to the side.

“What are you doing, George?”

The brit remained silent, burning hot tears sliding down his blue and yellow vision. His cheeks turned a bright red, in cases where he was utterly embarrassed. And boy, how embarrassing George looked. Chunking away at a single blackstone brick chunk, pawing at the pieces like a dog looking for a place to bury its bone, only to find out that a layer of an obsidian rock lay hidden within.

“You know you can’t do that, George.”

I know.

“If you wanted to visit the prison, you should’ve just asked me.”

I know.

“George, if you do something like this again, I seriously won’t hesitate to kill you until you’re dead.”

His eyes shot up. The tears that flowed down his cheeks took a pause as George stared at Sam with lips slightly ajar, completely taken aback by Sam’s sudden change in tone.

“I’m serious.”

Sam pushed past George with both care and roughness, as he went to replace the hole within the prison with the blackstone bricks and mortar so quickly and smoothly. A tang hit the brown haired male’s heart - no longer hearing the voice within.

He just wanted to hear another quick ‘Oh George’.

“I’m sorry.” George muttered.

Sam turned around mid mortar slather and stared at the other boy, no words leaving his mouth, and eventually turned back around.

“Next time you want to see him, you ask me.”

The man brushed shoulders with George as he walked past him. Behind George’s back, he heard the unsheathing of his trident, and evidently flinched as the man flew off into the distance. The bricks lay stone cold within the wall, and the chunks that George had shamelessly ripped from the prison walls lay on the floor. He stared at the wall for a moment, hoping to hear a familiar voice tell him something - anything, for George heard nothing. 

Sapnap was still wide awake.

Karl was across from him, cheerily poking chicken cubes into his wooden skewers. The two wanted to have a late night dinner, in hopes that George would return home soon. It had to have been around 2 am when Karl came running to their little hut, giggling over a basket of chopped vegetables that he had so proudly claimed to been cutting himself, but when Sapnap got it out of him that he begged Puffy to help him cut up the peppers, carrots, and other vegetables.

Sapnap held his hand over the fire, shivering in the spring moonlight, blissfully unaware to the chicken kabob in his other hand starting to burn up and catch on fire. 

Karl screamed at him, mid giggle, and told him he was torching his food. 

“You’re no fun,” the time traveler pouts, picking off the vegetables that Sapnap had put onto his skewer. “What’s got your pants all pee pee poo poo’d?”

The Texan looks directly at Karl, who was chewing away at his chicken cubes. The male didn’t say a single word, and right at that moment, Karl realized.

“Ah,”

Sapnap finished off his fourth chicken skewer before tossing the stick into the fire, watching the flames engulf the dowel. By then, Karl had already finished off his meal and cuddled up against his ‘fiance’. He pulled the bandana off his head and let his brown hair flop over his forehead, to which Karl took the bandana from his hands and requested Sapnap put it on his head.

The boys sat in silence, with the occasional murmur leaving Karl’s lips as they sat close to the campfire, and it was in that moment where a stomping of feet came in close quarters to the two boys.

Sapnap swiftly pulled up his netherite sword which had been laying on the log beside him and stood up, blocking Karl from whoever’s field of vision must’ve been in front of them.

“I’m sure it’s noth..”

George stepped from behind the hill, eyes red and bags darkened - probably more dark than he had seen before he left?

“Hey George,” Karl said softly. “We’re eating dinn…”

The colorblind boy huffed and tossed his items off to the side, gripping his diamond axe with such fury. Sapnap stared at him, eyes wide. Without a moment’s notice, George slammed his axe directly into the door, hacking away at the entrance. He pulled the door off its hinges and stomped inside. He looked around the room, and slashed their beds. He slashed at the makeshift table, and various other things in the room.

“George?”

By the end of George’s tangent, a majority of the vacation home was in shambles. Without turning to face the engaged men behind him, the Brit fell to his knees and broke out into a short and quick sob. His hands lay in front of him, letting out ugly cries. Sapnap immediately dropped down next to his best friend, and pulled him up.

George lay frail and limp in Sapnap’s arms, chokes and sobs leaving his lips occasionally. The Texan squeezed the Brit in his arms, hugging him tightly from behind. It wasn’t til what felt like hours later, was when George eventually fell asleep in Sapnap’s arms.

Karl, in the meantime, was fixing the house to the best of his abilities. He covered the roof with planks, and put the door frame back in its place. The traveler, in complete shock, rebuilt and refurbished the house to the best of his minor building abilities.

“You know what we could do?”

Sapnap looked up.

“We could start fresh. Build a new city… or something of the sort. I need to move my library elsewhere, anyway.”

“A new city?” Sapnap echoed. “I think that could be good.”

“Away from.. here. Could be a good idea. Distract us.” Karl accentuated ‘us’, nodding his head towards the british boy who had been sleeping in Sapnap’s arms for ages.

“I know what you mean.”

Sapnap looked down.  
How George looked so peaceful and quiet. His cheeks were a soft pink, tear stains streaked down the side of his face and the hoodie he wore soaked with salted tears. This was a sight unfamiliar to Sapnap - seeing George completely crumble. He wondered what instigated his anger, eventually leading to heartbreak and destroying the little memory they truthfully had left of.. him.

The boys were silent for a while, until the two eventually led their way to Karl’s old home next to the Innit hut. By then, Tommy and Tubbo were fast asleep, the repetitive loop of Pigstep thumping between their walls and the small distance between the homes. 

Dream’s letters were buried somewhere within Sapnap’s pockets, but that was a story for another day.


	6. george

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where did all the time go?
> 
> It feels as if you’ve scripted this entire thing out. To play out to your benefit.

I fucking heard you. I can’t tell if I’m going crazy. I think I am. I was walking and then suddenly I just fucking heard you - What are you doing? 

You need to get out of my head. I can’t fucking do this. You’ve done too much.

Where did all the time go?

You’ve only written me two letters but every time I see them I feel haunted. By you. And you’re not even dead. You’re just in prison.

I feel like I’ve been cursed.

I think that I’ve spent way too long sleeping. I never go out anymore. I never get to fish, or hang out with Quackity and Karl. Sapnap leaves me at home alone and I lie here in bed. Just thinking. I bet you wouldn’t really be surprised if I said I was thinking about you, huh? It was inevitable.

Actually, I can’t really imagine how you must feel. In your own personal hell that you made for someone else. Or did you really just make the prison for yourself?

Either way. Hidden. Alone. 

I’m not even sure if I should send this to you. Every day, my life feels like it's been going in a solid blur. Nothing feels real. I lost you. And even if that sounds so fucking stupid to say, I never realized how huge you played in my life. Sapnap, of course. But it wasn’t the same as being able to talk to you every day - despite the fact that you were so fucking reticent. I’m not going to open your letters - hell I don’t know if I’m gonna send you these. And you can stop sending me letters. But you probably won’t, anyway. 

How did you know to send these to my vacation home? It feels as if you’ve scripted this entire thing out. To play out to your benefit. Like some sort of benevolent god willing to surpass any lengths to have his way.

Okay, I’ll admit. A little cheesy. A little cringeworthy.

I’m leaving my vacation home. Me, Karl, and Sapnap are going elsewhere. Far from the prison. Far from you. I’m not sure if I could mentally take it. I’m already different - or at least life feels like it’s a separate plane from which I currently stand. I’m writing this at Karl’s house, but don’t wait up for me. For an address to deliver this to because I’m going away. The way you write my name haunts me. And to tell you the complete truth? I’m glad I won’t be able to see your letters for a while.

Yeah. I’ve gone crazy, haven’t I?

Most definitely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo !!! :D
> 
> new chapters soon. i've been trying to keep up with lore lately so i apologize for late chapters !!! have you guys seen tommy's latest stream ? oh boy.


End file.
